The Group that Shall Not be Named

Hogsmeade Diner

From:	Alysaw
Sent on:	Wednesday, March 10, 2010 10:14 AM

In Hogsmeade I spotted a sign
For a new diner in which to dine
Everyone was there
To sample the fare
Of good foods, desserts and fine wine.

A plump little witch named Jade
Said, "I only eat plimpies sauteed
My mum eats them raw
Although it's bourgeois
My dad eats them only decayed."

Nearby sat Severus Snape
Who was peeling mold from a grape
He likes his mold hairy
Washed down with some dairy
Said it helps him to keep his svelte shape.

I wondered what the fuss was about
Until I heard Professor Sprout
Angrily say
"Take this away
You served me cod when I ordered boiled trout!"

Nagini, (who had quite a few beers)
Left the table and burst into tears
When Voldy ate snake
Lied and told her it's steak
She cried, "If I had them I'd cover my ears!"

Trelawney pretended to dine
On her table I counted nine
Bottles of sherry
And she was quite merry
As she said, "This food is simply divine."

Rubeus Hagrid's table just groaned
With weight of roast hippo, deboned
With a hungry grin
He tucked right in
After adjusting the bib he was loaned.

I was disgusted by Filch's meal
Of squirming not yet dead eels
I thought Neville grand
When he bit his hand
And said, "There, now you know how it feels!"

Ron and Hermione were eating chop suey
That Ron said was slimy and gooey
Cheeks full and wadded
Hermione nodded
Said, "This should really be called slop chewy!"

Dobby looked so incredibly cute
In socks and a matching plaid suit
In a voice that beguiled
He looked up and smiled
Said, " I love fruit but it does make me toot."

Dolores Jane, whom you know I despise
Was scarfing a burger and fries
I thought I'd be sick
When I heard her pick
Shoe fly pie for dessert with real flies!

« previous

back to mailing list archive